Happy birthday, Grandad.

I can’t believe you’ve been gone seven years. I miss your funny jokes, pranks and sense of humor. Your special charm never failed to bring a smile to people’s faces. The world could really use another dose of you to lighten up and get with the program.

I’m so sad that my two youngest will never know you except thru photos and that my oldest probably won’t remember enough about you. Though every grandfather is special, I know that I had the most unique and loveable grandfather a child could wish for. Boo and Uncle Keith dubbed the two youngest with their nicknames as you would have done, but I often wonder what you would have chosen for them.

Mom still struggles with you being gone, worse than others realize. She refuses to acknowledge her birthday anymore because not sharing a cake and family gathering without you every year is too painful.

I heard you and Dad talking the night you brought me home after a really low point in my life eight years ago. I’ll always remember what you said to Dad when you both thought I was sleeping. Thank you for always believing in me and supporting me. Thank you for being proud of me, no matter what I did or didn’t do.

Three days before you died, I called you from the hospital when Biscuit was born to tell you the news. You never knew it was me, as far as I know, because there were problems with the phone line and you never heard my voice. It was our last conversation and you said, “Hello, hello… hello?” and I hung up deciding I would call you when I got home from the hospital. How could I know that hello would be goodbye for us?

I took it really hard, being one of the few in the family that wasn’t able to say goodbye to you in person when you left us. Why didn’t phone work that night? Why didn’t I try to call back immediately? I wanted you, of all people, to know that Biscuit had arrived because of what you said to Dad that night. I never got to tell you. And I never had the chance to say goodbye.

Is there no goodbye for you and me? Did the phone problem happen for a reason? I’ll wonder for the rest of my life. Until I know for sure, I’ll be missing you and waiting to finish that conversation.

Love Always,

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