My Name is Michele & I Have a Problem

All my life I’ve had a problem.   It’s a crippling fear of saying what I think.

I’m always afraid I’ll say the wrong thing or someone will take it the wrong way because  I have a strange knack for being able to verbally butcher what’s rolling around in my head.

This makes me the crappiest excuse for a blogger you’ll ever meet.

For FIVE years I’ve pathetically and sporadically blogged about “safe” topics.  If you’ve ever read my blog, you know what I’m talking about.  I can be sarcastic and goofy but I’m still keeping my guard up and only telling you what I think is probably not gonna come back and bite me in the buttocks (at least not very hard).

The problem is, this doesn’t make me very real.

I’m nowhere near vanilla.  I’ve got a dark chocolate side with nuts and sprinkles and marshmallows. If I could be a flavor, I guess I’d be Rocky Road.

I’m pretty sick of being a paved street.  I’m pretty sick of calling in the maintenance crew to smooth the road and make it pretty again.

Welcome to the real me.  The road is bumpy.  The flavor is Rocky Road.  Fall down and scrape your knees with me.  Get up with me and let’s dust each other off.  Tell me I’m a pinhead, but you still adore me.

From this post forward, meet the new me.

“Hi, my name is Michele.  I am self conscious but everyday I will tackle my problem by saying what I think, what I feel and what I want.”

I don’t want to offend ANYONE.  I don’t want to lose my friends, but I want my friends to know the REAL me.  If you ARE my friend, I know you’ll understand that and gently call me out when my mouth or fingers butcher my thoughts…

Comments

  1. I know exactly what you mean. I am just learning to stand up for myself and not let my insecurities get in the way of my success.

    It’s not an easy lesson…I keep having to start over!

  2. Oooh…. I like real :) Not ‘brassy, overdone, overcompensated real’ that some people try to sell – but the real real that comes out when you’re comfy in your own skin.

    Real Michelle – I’m glad to meetcha!

  3. Hi nice to meet the real Michele :-) Looking forward to getting to know you 😉

    It’s funny you posted about this because I just recently posted about “who am I” because I’m on this journey of finding the real me. I’ve hid behind so many labels and masks for so long that I don’t even know the real Tishia…it’s pretty sad.

  4. HAHA! I’m ready for the real deal. I’m just hoping you aren’t really a liberal under cover. Then I might not like you so much anymore. LMAO Totally teasing… I’ll always love my Chele Bell.

    I know what you mean about people misunderstanding you though. I have so many different facets of who I am. My blog is my diary of sorts. It’s a place where all my emotions go. But if we hung out in real life you’d probably know me more as a total goof ball nut job – with a sharp tongue – and will tell ya like it is. I’m not sitting around speaking poetically about my children, my home, my pain and so forth 😉

    Though you would still know me as a very sensitive person, who cries easily (happy and sad tears), and cares deeply for other people so much that it hurts sometimes.

    I don’t think anyone can really know a person totally just from a blog. I get the feeling that most of the people I follow on their blogs are either somewhat different in person, or totally different… just because it’s THAT hard to share every single part of who you are on a blog.

    Plus – for me, goofy doesn’t come out in the written word. You have to be with me to see that. Hey, how in the world did this become all about me? LOL

    I’m excited to see what you do with your blog. I’ve been hoping you’d be more active as a blogger cause I just totally love you.

    Nell

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