My Visions, Dreams & Fears – Nascar Style

Things are festering up inside my head. Serious thoughts. Thoughts that make me feel nauseated. It’s not just a few thoughts. It’s a lot. At one time. I can’t focus. It’s extremely crippling sometimes.

Not long ago, I vowed to start saying what I’m thinking and stop holding back. I sincerely meant that. The problem is that I sit here to say it and all the thoughts start whizzing around in my head like cars in a Nascar race. Each thought could easily be it’s own novel.

I’ve decided to just put the thoughts down for now. Maybe then I can come back and tackle each thought with it’s own post later. Maybe.

  1. I have some really strange dreams. I always have. Now they are becoming more vivid, strange and scary. One dream from a few months ago was so strange, I talked about it. The dream has since become reality. If I hadn’t talked about it before it happened, no one would have believed it. And no, I’m not claiming to be psychic.
  2. Once I married a man as smooth as a used car salesman. I’m still paying for the load of lies he sold me everyday. I can now spot another such smooth talker instantly. There’s one in particular that I pegged as a “used car salesman” over a year ago that is scaring the hell out of me now and the load of lies everyone will be paying for the rest of their lives.
  3. If the definition of insanity is continuing to do what you’ve always done and expecting a different outcome – then what is it called when “experts” decide to force us into agreeing with solutions that have consistently failed throughout history and attempt to gamble our own lives as if it’s THE answer to all our problems? What the HELL is that?
  4. There’s a lot of my online friends that I worry about. These are in addition to the normal worries you have for your friends. I am worried my friends have dangerously painted themselves into a soundproof box with tiny peepholes that they can look out, if they CHOOSE to do so. They’ve done this based on business and marketing advice. I’m afraid the trade off may be greater than they realize.
  5. I’m getting angry over hypocrisy of these things – Transparency and Freebies – and how my friends from #4 are missing this. The very things they are striving to achieve may be totally worthless/useless if they don’t pay attention. Hey friends if you are still reading, remember “Who the Media? YOU the Media!”? REMEMBER? Yeah. Wake up. I mean this in the nicest way. Really.
  6. Talking about the usual stuff that used to be important to me just seems totally pointless and irritating these days. Listening to others (which I’m really good at in person & hardly ever bring my own problem to the table) who are whining about insignificant crap is wearing my nerves thin. I’ve found about two people that honestly GET IT that I can talk to lately. I’m afraid I’m bringing entirely too much to the table for them, but they are being great listeners.

There’s more thoughts racing by. I just can’t catch them all. A few have even crashed into the wall and are up in flames now. I hope at least getting some of these basic thoughts down will help me focus on other things again.

What’s bothering you? Let me know, if you feel you can, or you are bold enough. I’ve been just obvious enough that you may know the things I’m talking about. If you don’t and are curious, I’m HUNGRY to talk about it.

I’m hungry to talk about it because you’re my friend. And that’s what we’re supposed to do. Even if we don’t agree on everything. Really.

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