You Know What They Say About Baloney

Yesterday I did some serious grocery shopping because the pantry was looking a bit scrawny and the fridge was so empty that it nearly looked clean.

Side note: If you are wondering why I’m not posting about this grocery spree at Moms Love Shopping instead, keep reading and you’ll see why!

Anyhoo… I’m scanning the lunch meats looking for any killer deals when I notice Oscar Mayer Bologna is on sale.  Personally, unless it’s fried up in frying pan, I think that’s some nasty stuff that insults bread (sorry Oscar Mayer, just sayin’).

But… I remember one of my kids griping a few months ago that they actually LIKE baloney and wanting to know why I never buy it.  So, like any good mom, I bought the crap because it was on sale.  Then I get home and announce that I have a wonderful surprise for the person that wanted baloney sandwiches.

Blank faces stare back at me.  Really.

So I go off on a total rant about wasting money on crap I will have to eat now unless we have some strange baloney eating freak of a neighbor and I could  give them an early Christmas present bless them.

Did I mention I’m totally in love with this guy named David?  He looks at me very seriously as I take a breath in the middle of my rant, then he says,

“I know why you bought it, sweetie.”

Then he breaks into the best impersonation of Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn and Tommy Lee Jones as DooLittle I’ve ever witnessed!

Loretta Lynn: I’m gettin’ so sick of baloney.
Doolittle: You are? Well, you know what they say about eatin’ baloney, don’t you?
Loretta Lynn: No, what?
Doolittle: Makes you horny.
Loretta Lynn: What does that mean?
Doolittle: [starts laughing] Are you so dadburn ignorant you don’t know what horny means?
Loretta Lynn: No, what does it mean?
Doolittle: I ain’t gonna tell you.

Loretta Lynn: [in a radio interview] We sing, and talk, and Doo – that’s my husband – he’ll get to acting horny.
Loretta Lynn: And the more I laugh, the hornier he gets, and then he’ll say, “Loretta, spread me up another one of them baloney sandwiches!”

Naturally, I busted out laughing.

He said, “You know it was because baloney was on your mind since we watched Coal Miner’s Daughter on TV the other night.  You wanted to see if it’s true – that’s why you bought it!”

It’s like David can read my mind.  I’m telling you!  😉

I can remember watching Coal Miner’s Daughter about a bazillion times and singing Loretta’s songs growing up.  It’s just one of those movies/life stories you never get sick of.  Ever.

What’s YOUR favorite line in the movie?

Just in case Oscar Mayer shows up to read this and was thinking about doing something fantastic like sponsoring me for a great upcoming mommy event or inviting me up to tour their facilities (yeah right)…  I just want to mention that I love your bun length wieners:-)


  1. I love that you watched the Coal Miner’s Daughter! I liked that movie, too. I like:

    Hold onto your butts…

    Do you remember what that is from?

    I’m going to make you guess. 😉


  2. Okay – guess you aren’t. LOL

    It’s from Jurassic Park – Sam Jackson said it.

    How are you? Gonna keep this blog updated, or what? 😉


  3. LOL! OK… I admit, I knew it sounded familiar and I went off to think about it and then I forgot to come back and guess. I suffer from CRS. Know what that is? I’m gonna make YOU guess now!

    BTW about updating the blog… there’s BALONEY in the house now. You know what that means. It means I’m distracted cuz Dew David, that’s my fiance, he’ll get to actin’ horny… 😉

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